On Valentines Day: A Plea for the Other Guy

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Obviously, my number one rule for Love Triangles is is DON'T DO IT. There are a lot of better ways to add tension to a story than putting a second guy into the book. I also think it's *slightly* unrealistic to imagine two guys pining over one girl for as long as a multiple book series takes (at least the type of triangles propagating YA novels), but that's a discussion for another day.  

Today I'm making a Valentines Day public service announcement in honor of the Other Guy (a.k.a. the One Not Chosen): If you feel yourself compelled to write a love triangle into a story, and suddenly get to the end of a series/book and need to rid yourself of the second guy, I implore you to remember that he's a person too. 

We've all done it, or at least I have: become so excited that our team "won" the girl that we don't really notice what happens to the guy who loses. But please don't forget that there are 3 people in this love story now. They all have their own thoughts and feelings, even the guy you don't want to win. One day your guy will not get the girl and you'll be heartbroken too. 

In addition to the characters in the tri-romance (the Girl, the Chosen One and the Other Guy*)  there are all the readers who have now split themselves into different teams supporting one of the guys. They have feelings too. Obviously it is not the job of an author to please everyone, but that is not an excuse for disrespecting the characters and readers. For me, it's the end of the triangle that often matters the most in this regard.  

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Recently, Jen Ryland @ YA Romantics and I had a discussion about love triangle conclusions that have not worked for us. Jen doesn't forget those underdog YA heroes, and is one of my favorite people with whom to discuss themes and patterns in books. 

This is our plea for the other guy. The loser. The one who has to exit stage left, gracefully or sometimes not so gracefully. 

When you reach the end of a love triangle, PLEASE:

1) DON'T make one guy into a jerk suddenly to get rid of him as an option. 

This lessens the complexity of the story, and often changes the altered character into something unrecognizable from who he/she was before. It is also not going to win you any favors with the losing team. Most people will not buy this direction, especially if it feels forced and manipulative. 

2) DON'T "bait and switch with a new girl" or add a fourth love interest for the losing guy to pick late in the series. 

Why was he so in love with the original girl, if he finds someone else so easily? This is also rarely emotionally satisfying. The losing team will not be appeased by finding their guy a new lady to love, especially, he was previously completely into the original girl. Why he was into a girl who kept waffling between him and someone else, we don't know. I mean, we all want him to eventually move on to someone who will obviously be a better match for him than a girl who rejects him. But unless we're dealing with imprinting, it probably shouldn't happen overnight. 

3) DON'T kill off/martyr one of the options to get rid of him as a choice, or to give him a noble purpose in the story. 

All this does is take away the heroine's choice in the end. When that happens, it becomes the easy way out. If the second guy hadn't been killed off, would she ever have chosen one of them? Are we supposed to feel better about the martyred guy now? There are some books where the Other Guy has been killed off and it has worked in the story. But it's all in how it's handled. 

4) DON'T sacrifice the heroine's integrity in order to keep the reader guessing until the end. 

THE LOVE TRIANGLE OF DOOM is never a helpful love triangle ending method. It always makes the heroine look bad. And it is incredibly insulting to readers who has invested in these characters' lives. When a book gets to this point, it doesn't even matter if our "team" wins. We'd much prefer the heroine pick the guy we didn't like, make us believe it, and have a respectful resolution with the one she doesn't pick, early in the story. Dragging out her decision to the last 25 pages is rarely satisfying, even if she chooses the "right" guy.

5) DO realize that you are NOT going to convince every reader that your heroine picked the "right guy." 

In a love triangle, or any series end, really, someone is going to be disappointed. Once your audience is split into teams, there is most assuredly going to be a heartbroken group when the final installment comes out. Doing something drastic to attempt to convince the losing team that their guy was not the right pick, can only spell disaster. Same goes with trying to appease/distract them by utilizing any of the four points above. The best way to go is to be respectful a.k.a. don't drag out the heroine's decision or forget the Other Guy has feelings too. 

6) DO realize this would never have happened if you hadn't put a love triangle into your story. Decide never to write one again. (Sorry, couldn't resist).

Life is messy, and love isn't always linear or straightforward. But so many triangles seem formulaic, or like they've been added for tension, and that's where they stop making sense. Overwhelmingly, it is the last book where love triangles fall apart the most. Suddenly the heroine actually has to MAKE A DECISION and when she does, the guy she doesn't pick has to go somewhere. How do you successfully rid yourself of the third wheel in a triangle, while maintaining the integrity of your story and characters? It's not an easy problem to manage appropriately, at least from the triangles I've encountered. Next time, just avoid it all together. 

A few examples of series with love triangles that may or may not have ended in the methods listed above. Some more successfully than others: 

Have you ever picked the 'wrong' guy and been heartbroken for him? 
Maybe you should make him yours this Valentines Day. 

Any points to add to this list? 

*Yes, I know not all love triangles follow this formula and 1:2, girl to guy ratio, but it's easier to talk about it this way because it's most common and I can avoid clarifying every pronoun.